Posts Tagged ‘with the pola’

  • December 4, 2013

    a poem…


    …for a day in december that feels like a day in may.

    autumn day by rainer maria rilke

    lord: it is time. your summer was superb.

    lay your shadows on the sundials,

    and in the meadows let the winds go free.

    command the last fruits to be full;

    give them only two more southern days,

    urge them to completion and chase

    the last sweetness into the heavy wine.

    whoever has no house will never build one now.

    whoever is alone now will long remain so,

    will stay awake, read books, write long letters

    and wander restless back and forth

    along the tree-lined streets, as the leaves drift down.

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    Filed Under: GOOD READS

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  • January 28, 2012

    currently :: 1

    this list is wholly inspired by that great friend that I get so many good ideas from. in the midst of a million things going on in my head and a thousand decisions to be made there have also been so many little things that have made me recognize all that is true and good and beautiful.

    in no particular order, all the things I am currently loving in january.

    1. polaroid blue skies. they don’t come around too often these days.

    2. the work and ideas of kinfolk.

    3. tulips. especially in the midst of cold that bites through your skin and settles in your bones.

    4. that canon ae-1. I think I am in love.

    5. nablopomo.

    6. the poetry of czeslaw milosz.

    7. blank canvas experiments.

    8. planning an italian adventure.

    9. keeping the christmas playlist around for just a bit longer.

    10. fixing the record player. finally.

    11. photographing things. or not photographing things.

    12. degas dancers at the phillips collection.

    13. rediscovering what I am passionate about.

    14. instagram.

    15. laughing when things are so out of control it’s ridiculous.

    16. getting to know great street art. like hense.

    17. les misérables. well now I am loving that I finally finished it. totally worth the time people. totally.

    18. strong black tea and vanilla soy milk.

    19. music from m83. and I break horses. and gotye. and definitely bon iver. always bon iver.


    Filed Under: CURRENTLY


  • January 19, 2012

    I miss the sun today.

    a photo for a day that is blustery and cold and biting. a photo for a day when I feel like I’m getting sick and want to crawl back into bed and stay there until the cherry blossoms bloom. come back, nice weather. I am not fond of this cold day.

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  • January 14, 2012

    missing home tonight

    “I never realize how much I like being home unless I’ve been somewhere really different for a while.”

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  • September 10, 2011

    this is it

    a lot of times I wish my life was neat and tidy. I wish I was settled in one place. I wish I knew what I am doing with the next 60 years of my life. (60? is that all I have left?) I wish I had a clean mind and a clean heart. sometimes even a clean room would be nice.

    but then I think of this thrift store. I walked in and was instantly overwhelmed. but I also thought, yes. this is it. what an adventure. I had every intention of visiting the dozens of other hawthorne shops. every intention in the world. but this is where I ended up. for more than four hours. labyrinths of recycled hats and handbags and homemade scarves. racks upon racks of shoes and shorts from the 70s and shirts with pictures of sonny and cher. vintage typewriters and traditional record players tucked in corners. lamps and leftover armchairs and even a few sets of legos. I would discover different versions of the same thing in a million different places. I would leave something in one room and never be able to find it again. every where I turned there was something else to get excited about. spending only $12 was nothing short of a miracle. and a necessary sacrifice considering I had to get on a plane back to dc in a few days.

    there was stuff everywhere and yes, I was a bit overwhelmed. at one point I actually had to sit down and take a break. on a discarded card table bearing the face of one elvis presley no less. but here’s the thing. it was amazing. amazing to always be finding something new. amazing to spend minutes marveling at a previously loved porcelain doll that would haunt my nightmares, only to turn and marvel at a discarded painting that I would pay good money for. amazing to turn around and find my friend smiling at me from under, what I’m sure, was a very genuine ushanka. it was messy. and unorganized. and probably a little bit dirty. and I could not get enough.

    and so I will remember the house of vintage and its lovely chaos. I will remember how I reveled in its horribly flawed organization “system.” and I will rejoice in my own lovely chaos. in co-workers that are flawed just like I am. in plans for the future that I have yet to even freak out about. in a mind cluttered with bon iver lyrics I do not fully understand and the occasional philosophical enlightenment. in a heart full of a lot of heartache and a lot of joy. I will even rejoice in a clean room once a week. fine. once a month.

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    Filed Under: THOUGHTS ON...


  • August 14, 2011

    24 things to do before i turn 25

    here it is, friends. I am starting early (or on time?) this year so I really have no excuse not to get all of this done. no excuse at all.

    1. make the the red velvet cake. made famous by this lovely one. (here.)

    2. throw a party with a super epic theme. suggestions now welcome.

    3. learn how to be content in my own skin. try to stop second-guessing myself.

    4. learn italian. at least a little bit. (does it count that I had to learn on the fly? here and here and here and here and here. oh, and here.)

    5. create my perfect christmas playlist. (I was pretty excited about this one.)

    6. travel somewhere I have never been. (done! most exceedingly done!)

    7. become an expert polaroid shooter.

    8. weekend trips on the train. (here. but more forthcoming.)

    9. acquire a genuine record player. (YES! needle is fixed now too.)

    10. go for more walks in search of swing sets.

    11. celebrate the unexpected. remember to be grateful. (in progress.)

    12. make more lists. as if that was a necessary item to add.

    13. read more books by collum mccann.

    14. write more short stories. share at least one with someone. try not to be embarrassed.

    15. have a guerilla art adventure.

    16. take a yoga class. remember to breathe.

    17. talk to grandma nancy about her childhood. also her marinara sauce recipe. (must be moved to the next list.)

    18. go to a drive-in movie. (but I did find out there is one in nashville. on the next list!)

    19. understand the words “the joy of the Lord is my strength.” get a firm grip on that concept. (here.)

    20. read les misérables. the unabridged version.

    21. rediscover my love for puzzles. yes, jigasw puzzles.

    22. create a photo book. give said photo book to someone I love.

    23. write a poem.

    24. stretch more often. (thanks to that pesky physical therapist.)


    Filed Under: I AM A LIST MAKER


  • August 12, 2011

    thoughts on :: home.

    this is about recognizing the details in myself. the ones I forgot were there. it was nice to have them come back and greet me. nice to be reminded that they are there and surely they’ll always be there. forever and ever amen.

    what an odd feeling it was to return to a place that I love and slowly begin to have pieces of myself return from the places I have tucked them away. and to realize that the self I am in one place is totally different from the self I am in another. not any less real or less me. just different.

    I did things I used to do all the time but never find time for now. I smiled at strangers and people-watched. and I’ll tell you something, I don’t think I saw one person rushing around in a suit. actually, not one person even wearing a suit. except when it was a hipster and they were wearing a crazy vest or bow-tie with it, of course. I took my earbuds out and listened to the sound of the world humming around me. it hummed with much less force than the car horns and idling buses and electronic buzz currently filling my mind and causing me to reach for those earbuds right now. I thought about something other than work and what I need to do tomorrow. I hugged the people I love with intention and I let them hug me as much as they wanted to. I actually might have overdone it a bit. if you can overdo something like hugs. which, luckily, I do not think is possible. my shoulders loosened. my jaw unclenched. my breath came back in deep, satisfying gulps.

    let’s just be clear here, people. I actually enjoy my life as it is right now. I have friends who are fun and real and teach me how to live fully. I am exploring a city and drinking lots of wine and eating lots of really good food with lots really great people. I am productive and I am growing and for the most part, I am myself. most of the time I am pretty content. and for the times that I’m not, the joy of the Lord is a wonderful thing I am learning.

    but you never can beat the feeling of being home, right?


    Filed Under: THOUGHTS ON...

  • June 3, 2011

    thoughts on :: the ordinary instant

    lately I’ve been thinking a lot about focus. my life seems so disjointed so much of the time. I run from place to place. friend to friend. moment to moment. but according to dr. clifton, I just can’t function without some level of connectivity. I need continuity. I thrive knowing that “we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it.” I see everything in relation to something else. I find meaning through connection.

    I’ve also been thinking about focus in terms of this blog. I feel as though I need a more distinct purpose for it. a reason to write even if it’s just for me to read. I am not particularly good at do-it-yourself crafts or around-the-house projects. I barely have time to eat, let alone cook and write about it. I am not yet brave enough to share the copious amounts of stories and poems I have written.

    but I notice the little things. the little details that we miss if we don’t look carefully. the insignificant moments that are not so insignificant.

    the way a book or short-story or poem can bring us back to memory or even to new life. the beauty of words strung together like twinkly lights strung around a room ready for christmas. simple words that paint an image so complex and real in our mind. the single sentence in a book. the single repeated word.

    the way a silly little piece of music can convey so much life – for better or worse. the melody that reminds us what it is like to grieve, to hope, to love, to grow. the sound of a song that brings us back to specific memories in such a real way we could swear it just happened yesterday. the live show that is a moving work of art – less permanent than a painting, but never to be removed from our experience with it. the way a song makes you feel everything around you more distinctly and deeply.

    the unnoticed gesture of kindness. the unseen movement of character. the forgotten tree. the lonely fountain. the afterthought. these are the details I love. the details I thrive off of.

    joan didion talks about “the ordinary instant” and how it is not so ordinary. for her, the ordinary instant changed everything. for her, the ordinary instant ended a life. for all of us, the ordinary instants are all the details. the ones we overlook in our busyness to reach our goals. to progress.

    so in an effort to focus, here is what I will focus on in this little corner I have claimed for my own. the details. the little things that inspire me. the ordinary instants. as anne michaels says, the “gaping life” that is poised in the casual moments. I will observe. I will notice. and I will share it with you. and I would love it if you wanted to share a bit with me too.


    Filed Under: THOUGHTS ON...

  • January 5, 2011

    one last look


    troy, pennsylvania. family reunion. jena and dom. collecting myself. diving in. dave eggers. mix tape mania. strengths finder.


    snowed in snowstorms. birthday festivities. caleb being baptized. movie marathons. new music finding. snowpocalypse. the yellow knight. feeling like a kid again.


    sabrina running. thawing out. missing home. crying a lot. laughing a lot. searching a lot. the history of love. stepping out from under the haze. daffodils.


    blossoms. all things made new. sweet summer. hip to the hop. texas. read, study, write, repeat. greenberries. bubble wands. childhood laughter. his death is my life. thankful.


    finishing fellows. fresh air. road trips. dance parties. windows down. mariners with jyndia. baltimore. humidity. the ocean. the choices. the decision to be happy.


    a fresh start. daisies. this american life. touristing with the family. recognizing beauty. sweaty metro. finding something real.


    lost and found. Becca. letting go. green monster (the drink, not the envy). stuck in between. 23. jazz in the sculpture garden. forgiveness. eastern market. fireworks from a parking garage.


    new job. new roommates. old stress. tired. sycamore street. mountains of montana. ange and josh. jumping on hotel beds. best friends. free coffee. pola. cowboys. breathing in.


    making old things new. the end of summer. the beginning of fall. feeling stressed. feeling unbalanced. feeling alive. feeling content. a brand new sky.


    traveling for work. stanford. exploding nerves. dallas willard. exploding relief. tahoe summer…in the fall. disposable camera skies. baby bear cubs. mom. dad. loved.


    daily introspection. climbing trees. picking apples. daily deep breaths. wordless weekends. finding the time. Regina. thankful.


    working late. tabard inn. snow. my soul-mates. rach and steve. colored christmas lights. anticipation. mindy. los angeles. crazy family. feeling pulled in a million directions. ornament toss. happy. relieved. content. the end. the beginning.


    Filed Under: I AM A LIST MAKER

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  • November 17, 2010

    silver and gold

    what fun it is to have best friends who come and visit. what fun it is to make wonderful, genuine, amazingly cool new friends. what fun it is to see this city with fresh eyes and a much more positive attitude. what fun it is to laugh and talk and pray and peacefully sit with people who do not need more than for you to just be here now.

    this weekend was full of:

    eating lunch on the steps of the portrait gallery.

    seeing old things with new eyes. I think this may be my new lunch spot.

    exploring secret passage ways at the national cathedral.

    wondering what is at the top of all those stairs.

    eating cupcakes next to a hot pink bicycle.

    taking illegal pictures. the whirring of the sx-70 is so not conducive to my picture thievery.

    sitting on the floor of bartleby’s reading vintage children’s books.

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